careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
