youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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