I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
