I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
