i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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