How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i drank out of a bidet.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
