You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
