My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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