So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
