So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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