Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Boobs are out for the taking
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
