My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
