JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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