Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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