i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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