y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Randomize
