i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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