I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
