the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
