So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I've blown a few things in my day
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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