would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
