her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she pinky promised me she was 18
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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