Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
