Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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