Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
