I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
