I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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