Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
