His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
