I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
