just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
