How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
