Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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