Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize