I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
