OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize