I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
