I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
