Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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