I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
