What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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