I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
