my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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