so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
