i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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