remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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