Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
