Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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