He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
