Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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