I love black thongs
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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