I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
