i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
