she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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