we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
