come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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