Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
