Kiss
Puke
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
