Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
