he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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